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rediscovery!

  • May. 14th, 2009 at 10:13 AM

lol. i have a livejournal! i stumbled back across it as I was trying to remember where else I go on the internet, besides facebook, myspace, gmail, postsecret, and looking for apartments on craigslist. and then i came here! pretty magical, I haven't updated this thing in over a year, it's cool. so yup. trying to find a new abode. still can't get ahold of current landlord. i guess he just really hates communication of any sort. neato. i'm technically at work right now. i should also be studying for my physio psych final, but i am not. i will be freaking out tonight and tomorrow morning, before said exam. yay! lots of things have changed since the last time i wrote here. good changes, mostly. i would write more, but i have to go shower someone now.

peace & love.

  • Mood: awake awake

on a side note.

  • Apr. 24th, 2008 at 2:52 PM

also:: why  is everybody so damn guarded? i see it everyday, we all avoid eye contact and it just looks like everyone is lost in their own heads.  i'm not an exception i have the same complex..................... come oooonnnnnn generation!!

do do do

  • Apr. 24th, 2008 at 1:42 PM

 I have the ridiculous urge to flee to a more rad climate and environment. Like.... pretty much anywhere in europe would kick ass. or australia. or california. Okay that last one might actually be happening, but not for another year. in the meantime I still feel that maine isn't really the best place for me to be right now, i mean let's be honest i haven't lived anywhere else for the 22 years of my life, and I really think that i could benefit from a chaaaaange! all the b.s. surrounding me isn't really helping either. not that i have that much b.s. anymore which is nice but everyone else does and it is affecting me... i dont like it. i just need new in my life. maybe some new people, to accentuate the old. some new music, maybe a new hairCUT (but i'm such a wuss), new new new!!! :-) i just want to start over nice and fresh, like newly baked bread. i went for a job hunt today!! several prospects, but i have to go back to a  few within the next week. but yeah... we'll see how that goes.
also, im officially graduating in december!!! fuck yeah. i'm so pumped.i gots to take 2 summer classes but i dont even care, man. i just want that damn diploma at this point.
what else? idk..  the weather has been lovely at least. i haven't worn pants in days. it is fabulous. i'm thirsty. umm. i hate presentations/papers?? but it will all be over soon, by soon i mean today. i need to do a LOT of painting tomorrow. like a lot. i think i'm going to take intermediate painting in the fall. i'm really digging the whole wake up to painting thing. its centering for me. 
okay so i think that's my little rant of the... since the last time i updated the ol' LJ. which as we all know doesnt happen very often.

peace&love

i got a mind if you wanna waste it

  • Apr. 5th, 2008 at 11:42 PM

minor epiphany today.
i know for sure i don't want that anymore... it feels really good? surprising.... lifted.. i guess i finally feel free.

it's nice but still odd? definitely positive but i'm kind of in awe how absurd my life is sometimes... and i don't neccessiarily mean that in a negative sense because i still like it.. and find a comfort in it... maybe someday everything will make sense, but there's still a chance that it won't but i think i can go with it either way because the truth is i am young... and fluidity is important and just living is key... and umm being positive. i would be way more emotionally f'ed if i was too negative... and i feel like i'm finally seeing truth instead of distorted perceptions. which is ridiculously refreshing. it's weird i'm like observing my own life while living it wow i am such a psych major.. okay i really need to clean my rock star wannabe flat.. no really it's just messy because i'm never here. peace&<3
  • Mood: high high
  • Music:beck

musings

  • Mar. 29th, 2008 at 4:39 PM

oh, life.
you are so confusing. why must you be so confusing? alas.
i guess like, whatever though.
i find that what works for me is focusing on something unrelated to the confusing situation, going out in the sun, and tricking myself into being in a good mood.
but it's weird when, you just really don't know what to do about or within your own life... when you just feel stuck within a certain area.
so i guess,
what's that quote from the fish?
"Just keep swimming"
i guess, that.

i just kind of worry that it's bad to ignore the bad
but
it can't really be bad to do that, can it?
i just don't want to get too self protective that i miss something, or don't do something that maybe i should?

i guess i really do need to just keep my chin up, until a later point in time anyway.

Mar. 5th, 2008

  • 7:09 AM

i'm very confused.

my mouth gets me into trouble a lot,
but
i don't think i can keep letting things go unsaid.

maybe i just need to stop thinking so much.
which is much easier said than done.

meet me here later and we'll make out

  • Feb. 10th, 2008 at 3:58 PM

 la la la.
sunday=no obligations, snow, (why tf is it snowing), coffee, cleaning, music the whole time. 
umm
not really much is "new" or whatever
well
my car is fixed!! good news.
lots of school all the time.
a new job.
fun friends.
wine.

almost time for school break. mostly really excited to see lexi lu. 

new mexico in spring time. 

tired of snow
craving summer! trying to visualize that shit.


okay a.d.d.
  • Mood: mellow mellow

sound advice...

  • Feb. 5th, 2008 at 1:35 PM

Daily Horoscope Overview

 

The Sun in humanistic Aquarius makes its annual conjunction with Chiron the Wounded Healer, forcing us to face our limitations. We may aspire toward godliness, but can only go so far in our quest for the divine. Remembering old hurts and pains can be therapeutic, but nursing them can be debilitating. The Moon's entry into intellectual Aquarius at 2:08 pm EST brings emotional detachment, allowing us to forgive others and move beyond our pain. 



...for everyone. ;p

 

 

snow slushiness outdoors. warm and cozy indoors. no classes. acoustic guitar is pleasant to hear right now. cookie-baking later. snoop dogg glass. < & <3

  • Mood: content content

sibling differences

  • Jan. 14th, 2008 at 10:34 AM

It's weird how totally different two people from the exact same gene pool can be. Take Alexandra and I for instance. From just what she writes, how she talks, what her life is about, she just seems so normal compared to me. and not normal like, boring normal, i mean normal doesn't really exist, but bear with me in my casual use of the word. she is a lot more normal than i am. i mean, who knows, as a side note this may also have somoething to do with her being a Capricorn and me being a Pisces.... I mean, I know she has anxiety problems or whatever, but really they aren't very severe and she's never needed meds or anything for them. I think it's sligtly genetic and built upon from there just from growing up with my mom, who is by any stretch a "worrier." but again, mostly normal. she's a lot like my mom in that normalcy range, as well (by ways of living, not actual personality. hah.) okay so if i haven't completely lost you yet.. so she's dealing with slight anxiety and it's like, i spent two collective years of my life in therapy for Depression/Obsessive-Complulsive Disorder/Anxiety because of the first two things, and 5 years on various meds, all of which sucked balls.. I'm not complaining here or saying my life's not fair, because i'm not, but sometimes i wonder why i ended up with all the shit problems that can make it hard for me to function on an everyday level, not like, everyday, but sometimes for blocks of time, just on that level. it's pretty weak, and yeah it's a lot better than it used to be, but it's still there and it's still shit i have to deal  with everyday. and i really hope none of my siblings have to go through some of the shit mentally that i have had to. i don't think i'd wish it upon anyone. i think i've drifted from my beginning point, brought on by a myspace survey of Alexandra's. It's just interesting how much we vary in our everyday lives, how different yet alike our personalities are, just how innocent she seems and still on many levels is, maybe i just grew up a lot faster? hmmm. i could analyze this further but this hot cocoa isn't going to drink itself. i guess i just had a nihal moment and felt the need to ramble on about human genetics... ish. Oh yeah, snow day + 4 day weekend before i even go to a class. Shit yeah!

la la la

  • Jan. 10th, 2008 at 4:18 PM

 

Pisces Horoscope

 (Feb 19 - Mar 20)

Today can offer you some respite and even the opportunity to withdraw a bit from too many social interactions. Quiet time can serve you well as you recharge your batteries. Even if you are at work or in school, you still can make time for yourself. Get out in nature to combine the peace and beauty that appeals to you. The fresh air will lift your spirits and provide you with inspiration for the days ahead.

Pretty much that sums it up. I haven't really been reading my horoscope so adamately like I used to but I decided to today, and oh so accurate. Does that ever happen to anyone else? It seems like my horoscope (from this source, anyway) is just always so eerily "on." Kinda cool. But yeah, it was beautiful out today (I mean, it still is, but it's a lot colder and the sun is thinking about setting), Josh and I went to a beach and strolled all around it, enjoyed the ocean and all the scenery that surrounds it. It's been awhile since I've gone to the beach, too, I mean for obvious reasons, but it was cool to reconnect with all of that. And last night= fabulous night scenery setting photo taking around the city with ashley and jason, they all came out really crazy, see.....

the









Okay so I got a tad carried away with the photo posting, but I like them :) and there's more where that came from... I really just felt like I was tripping while taking these.

And I'm starting to feel more balanced and more like myself again, I'm still getting into the swing of things but I just, feel, better, and it's nice and I hope it lasts and improves because I like this direction that I seem to be approaching, beginning, whatever it is. Classes start Monday, it's pretty crazy, I think I am going to try getting a job as a Nanny or as a One-on-One person with special kids or whatever, cause I just want to be more productive all around. I need to go to yoga on Monday as well, I want to start going like 3 times a week instead of the usual one, although that may not actually happen due to school and possible work on top of work-study business. But who knows.?!???!! I sure don't, but speculation and rambling can be fun..! 
peace&<3

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